Title Needed: This will do; Things thought while writing and thinking and writing and looking and typing and thinking.

Insomnia can be fun if you have nothing to do. At some point your brain reaches a sort of Zen state through which you can mindlessly imagine and perceive the world out of the context of your reality. Things becomes transparent in ways that they could never be when conscious of them. Like whatever it is it is constantly just out of frame but when you turn to look at it directly you cannot see it. Or those weird eye squiggles that you can never look at directly but if you stop thinking about them they just fly around the edges of your visual perception. Whatever goes on in the brain, causing it to react to the lack of rest form lack of sleep forces it to compensate in ways that our waking brain never experiences. I wish I was more versed on the niceties of brain chemistry, unfortunately I am an uneducated person who just cant stop thinking. Ever. About anything. It would suck more if I wasn't blessed with a giant cock which i use to pay the bills. I should make a late disclaimer: I have been on more than a small handful of drugs, prescribed and otherwise, For a variety of different purposes, and while in the safetey of my own home. But I can honestly say that this exercise has proved one thing. One of the things in the preceding run-on sentence/paragraph is a blatant lie. I am a neurotic and somewhat self loathing Jew who is surprisingly self-aware, considering his stature in society, which is low and not really a part of society, so I'm sure it won't be difficult to decipher the truth from this Rosetta stone of character flaws.

All I know is sleep is for the weak....or the well adjusted.

It's always nice to end a post that began with transcendental masturbation with some therapist banter and a jab at people who can live normal lives.

It always sucks...that moment when you realize, although you've been a dorky nerd your entire life, you are also a douche bag. Probably not a widely shared moment of realization. Most douchebags aren't meta enough to acknowledge being a douchbag.

What was I saying? Something about Zen and insomnia? Yea, my brain is taking it in strides. It is going strong and ain't nothin gonna break my stride, ain't nothin gonna hold me down, oh no, i simply must keep on moving. I'm genuinely not sure what I'm saying anymore. My hand/eye/brain coordination is not so good. Keeping the three working together isn't going so well. They like what each other has up for offer but getting them to schedule delivery and accept delivery at the right times is just all bungled up. It's a giant kerfuffle and the result is flotsam and jetsam on the brain bridge. I can't blame them though. I haven't given them time to formulate before reporting on the their accords and what comes out comes out before they have even been able to tell me they've decided. At this point its like I'm reading their minds...which is my mind.

Love,
The TriForce that is Ben's Brain.

Please note that I believe I may have ended the post in the middle. That was as intentional as something which had no intention and was unintentional can be. I look forward to reading this again someday to a man in a nice white coat. Or The Pulitzer people. Guten morgen.

I just remembered something I said when i was 18 and tripping so hard in the French Quarter that all I could say about my present state is that I thought my "Brain pan was melting"... It wasn't until years later when I dated a med student did I find out that we actually have a brain pan. I had never heard of it before, but it was the most appropriate thing i could think of at the time. Weird. Not significant, but weird. In case you were worried, which I was a little, my brain pan didn't melt. It is physically impossible for it to melt unless you somehow rendered it into its constituent parts of, what? something like proteins and gelatin? Probably while still in the skull, I would imagine. But I don't know what I'm saying, nor have I for 15 minutes or so, since around the very beginning of this post. I'm always a little bit proud when i type 'beginning' correctly the first time and don't have to backspace.

Gurgle and good night. I hope.

The preceding has been what an example of what can happen when you take ambien, xanax and marajuana at the same for three separate ailments, disorders and conditions and fight the sleep that has been eluding your for hours just long enough to play around with it. Thank you for tuning in.